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Save our months!

In many European languages, the months of the year are mainly based on the Roman name for the month, for example "octo" is the number 8 in Latin. October was originally the 8th month of the year in the Roman calendar and retained its "octo" name when it was moved to become the 10th month post 46BC. The Julian calendar was introduced in 46BC and this lead to some interesting changes.
For instance, there was a whole month dedicated to leap year, called Mercedonius. This month occurred every few years, but was abolished by Julius Ceasar when he introduced the Julian calendar. But not before he and others had abused the month by adding it earlier or later, or just "forgetting" to add it at all.
So each month has a history of how it came about. An interesting history. Recently, I've started to notice that the months are again being renamed, but in a far less interesting way.
It started with Movember. A time of month just before Christmas where you can grow some facial hair for charity. Fair enough. Spending a month trying to grow the perfect walrus moustache in the hope that it is somewhat as cool as Chopper's or Hulk Hogan's. But for me, it never does - just sparsely bristles into a cross between the pubescent boy-look and the Mexican-street-gang look. Neither are ideal.

Then a few years ago, I remember someone telling me they were doing "Dry July" and not drinking. They were finding it hard. "Fuck me" I remember thinking, "You need an actual recognised month set aside to not drink. Man, most people have less will power than I imagined."
This year, I knew more people that were doing Dry July and not drinking alcohol. "Wow....humanity has got problems..."
I then heard there was Stoptober, last year. My reaction was "well...it doesn't surprise me". A month to quit smoking, for charity of course.

Then this year....Steptember. People walking a certain amount of steps to raise money. Shit,...so, the public being coerced into exercising under the guise of "doing it for charity".
People want sponsorship to exercise...for charity.
Then again Movember. They're growing some naturally occurring hair on their face and asking for sponsorship to do it. For charity of course.
The giving to charity bit is not a problem. I'm quite happy to give money to a charity to build wells in Africa or to research cures for cancer.
But to use the "sponsor me, for some charity, to do something perfectly fucking normal that I can easily do" is a bit too much. And then to disgrace a month name that has survived 2000 years is a reason to loathe this trend even more. Not to mention someone's getting rich from this renaming of months dedicated to pretty straightforward tasks. They always are.

Where will it end you might be wondering? To make light of this angering debasement of the calendar, I came up with another 2 months to market self help, for charity of course.
Janufairy (sounds cool, like an actual month for something, like reading Fantasy books to school kids. I'm claiming the name Februfairy too just incase it catches on) where people have to dress up as Tinkerbell, or their favourite tiny female wish-granter. They do this for one month in aid of people with Dwarfism or Rett Syndrome...
Or Peecember where you get sponsored to save up all your urine in flasks and bottles for a month in aid of the drug-free treatment of extreme kleptomania.
"Mate, you're collecting piss in old bottles, I think you've got a problem."
"Yerrrrr, but it's for charity"

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