Dreaming of trumpet players and Drug Kingpin Hippos

I'm not alone in having a justified hatred for noisy animals at certain times of the day. Most birds,mating calls of frogs, in fact any shrill, irrhytmical mating calls, cicadas, dogs...do you see where this is going?
During the days they're fine. Well, between the hours of 9am and 10pm on weekdays, 11am til 11pm on weekends. And that's being lenient and generous. If it were down to me, there'd be a unwelcome-noise curfew from 9pm onwards. Til 1pm the next day.
And this noise curfew encompasses too many things. Way too many. Frogs - mating or otherwise, even just mating calls/sounds can be excused. They're a fact of life. Who am I to deny a frog a bit of a noisy prelude to spreading his seeds, or to impose on a cicada the humiliating fate of spending the lonely few hours before his scheduled death watching increasingly depraved insect porn (maybe culminating in interspecies  -  a spider mating with a fly, or a snuff movie like 2 stick insects mating then the female's orgasmic, post coital devouring of the male.....heh...i could think up insect porn ideas all night...)
Even loud music late at night is bearable, as quite a few times my choice of volume for drum and bass or deathcore thrash metal has not been sanctioned or even agreed with by neighbours, adjacent or a few houses away, or housemates.
The high pitch droning scratch of a cicada in itself isn't bad. At least it's got a rhythm. A steady canter. Soft, echoey, constant. Like bacon sizzling in a hot frying pan. I used to hate hearing a clock tick or the low rumble of chatter when I was trying to sleep. But I've now realised that if you're tired enough you'll sleep whatever the noise.
Therefore, slightly controversially, by the process of elimination (and maybe even a hint of facist descrimination) this noise curfew should be directed at 4 legged mammals. No not the humble elephant. Domesticated, 4 legged mammals. I love the furry, cuddley, sullen, sometimes-affectionate feline attention-whore, on the whole a quiet beast, so not that. So it's domesticated, 4 legged and noisy.
Guessed yet?....That's right.
The dog. Mans best friend. Loyal. Smelly. Noisey. A good companion. Canis lupus familiaris. The domestic dog. Not the wild dogs, like wolves or mountain dogs.
The dogs that are kept in captivity and like to incessantly yap at 6am is basically what pisses me off. The owners that let it happen too are to blame. A few weeks ago, my friend showed me an article from the Sydney Morning Herald about retribution of "yapping dog rage". The article states that some poisonings and stabbings have occurred, as furious neighbours have got to the point where they are so catatonic that they have to resort to hardcore, malicious, physical punishment. This is quite extreme behaviour though. As another colleague stated, he would just get an air rifle and fire some shots near to the dog to make it afraid and give it a warning, but not actually harm the animal. It's partly the dog's owners fault for letting it happen in the first place.
Anyway, my original point. In China a few weeks ago I was sleeping. I had gone to bed late, and got up at 9 to have breakfast then went back to bed. I slowly drifted off to sleep again and entered REM sleep. I started dreaming. My dreams kept getting punctuated by this noise. It sounded like someone practicing the trumpet, badly. This confused me, as I wasn't dreaming about a trumpet. After becoming semi-conscious a few times, I fully woke up. I heard the noise again, now awake. This concerned me. Did I have sleep paralysis? What are the symptoms of sleep paralysis? Do you dream while you are awake? What if I can't wake up? Still confused, I listened for a while to discern what the sound was. It really did sound like a trumpet player, playing a note really badly at first, then getting more in tune as they blew harder, and then slowly out of tune as their breath ran out. A sort of "ppppfffffffffwwwaaarrgghhhhfffffttttppp" noise. 
But when my girlfriend came home a few hours later (the noise was constant for about 3 hours!), I got her to listen to the sound and then asked her what she thought. 
Me: "Listen to that sound...someone is practicing the trumpet. It's so annoying"
Her: "What sound?!"
Me: "Shhhhhhhhh, LISTENNNNNN!"
Her: "What.....?!.....oh that.........it's just a dog.  No one here plays the trumpet!".
Me: "So it's a dog? It sounds like a trumpet!"
Her: "I can't believe you're annoyed by that. I can't even hear it"
So I regaled the above story to her. 
She laughed and replied "*big sigh of pity and condescension* baby...you're too sensitive."  
Woken up by a whinging and whining dog.
"Stupid fucking dog", I muttered.

This picture doesn't have much relation to the article above. Just that it contains the word Hippo. It was more that the name of this show was quite amusing. A drug Kingpin Hippo. One of those words doesn't belong there, but I can't work out which.

Yapping dogs irk me so much recently, as my bedroom overlooks a few gardens. In one of these gardens quite near to my room I was woken one morning, at 6am, by a furiously yapping dog. It was pretty loud due to the proximity. Even ear plugs, a pillow over my head and the windows closed wouldn't block out the noise. Combined with the menagerie of other wild animals and birds that start CAWing and EEKEEKing as soon as the sun rises, a decent 8 hours sleep is pretty rare if you go to bed between 11pm and midnight most days.
And this dog hasn't just yapped on one occasion. It has been twice so far. 2 times too many. With the  CAWing and EEKEEKing, I have slowly become accustomed to it and learnt to live with it. The noises are a part of life. They're a part of a wild birds life. And if the dog was wild, and was barking that would be ok too. Just domestic dogs that yap and bark. Domesticated dogs barking at 6am. There's really no need for it.
Now I'm feeling angry again. I'm going to go and eat.

EDIT: Haha, it turns out that I do have an appropriate picture of yappy, annoying dogs... Taken in the carpark of my locals Woolies.

Not enough dogs? Then buy a white furry seat cover.