Washing dirty dishes is a pretty tedious task, it causes arguments between couples, family disharmony about whose turn it is (to my younger sister who had an S in her name: if your name has an S in it then you only do washing up with an S in the days), friction among friends sharing a flat and one of them using 5 pans to cook bacon and egg, the point is escaping me....pretty much everyone would like to not do it. Pretty much everyone needs an excuse.
This is a good excuse.
A big, hairy, fuck-off spider in the corner of your kitchen.
You can even see what looks like a black and white little face that looks like Papa Lazarou from The League of Gentlemen.
"Oh my....fuck me dead...what the fffffuuu..." was my reaction. Pretty colourful lanaguage looking back on it, but I was arse-clenchingly surprised. I'm not even that scared of spiders. But for those not used to seeing massive spiders (me included) this is probably one of the biggest, hairest, fuck-off spiders I have seen outside of an arachnitarium (I might have just made this word up) or a zoo, or indeed in a kitchen. Since being in Australia I have unknowingly slept away from God knows how many huge spiders and knowingly, well,...2. Once in the Gold Coast and once in my old flat (another picture).
I have spent the last 2 hours taking pictures, scanning my kitchen for thick big, fuck-off spider's gossamer (which to my horror I found...there is thick line and sort of bisecting that thick line is a thin line, at a slightly different angle; that's a bit of the spider's web), searching the top of all the cupboards in case there are anymore 8 legged nasties for me to stumble upon. I also scoured for any little holes a spider could sneak through. My guess is that it came up the sink or something, as there's not that many holes around the place and all the windows and doors have a fly screen. Maybe it crawled under the front door. But it would have to go past 2 other front doors, so why did it choose my flat! Who knows.
I also spent a lot of time searching the 'net for dangerous spiders and dangerous creatures in Australia. I might also try "dangerous spiders in urban areas of Sydney". Anyway, I'm pretty sure that it's not gonna kill me, but I'm taking the pictures to work tomorrow to show to a "local" (cos everyone in Australia thinks they're Steve Irwin...) and see if his diagnosis is ok. My next purchase might be this....(it's not spider poison by the way).
I have pretty much ruled out this nasty little 8 legged fucker (doesn't say it will kill but they do say "Funnel-web spider venom is highly toxic, and all species should be considered potentially dangerous" ...as well as this wee lil' beastie.
This is a good excuse.
A big, hairy, fuck-off spider in the corner of your kitchen.You can even see what looks like a black and white little face that looks like Papa Lazarou from The League of Gentlemen.
"Oh my....fuck me dead...what the fffffuuu..." was my reaction. Pretty colourful lanaguage looking back on it, but I was arse-clenchingly surprised. I'm not even that scared of spiders. But for those not used to seeing massive spiders (me included) this is probably one of the biggest, hairest, fuck-off spiders I have seen outside of an arachnitarium (I might have just made this word up) or a zoo, or indeed in a kitchen. Since being in Australia I have unknowingly slept away from God knows how many huge spiders and knowingly, well,...2. Once in the Gold Coast and once in my old flat (another picture).
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| Spider silk glinting in the light of my flash |
I also spent a lot of time searching the 'net for dangerous spiders and dangerous creatures in Australia. I might also try "dangerous spiders in urban areas of Sydney". Anyway, I'm pretty sure that it's not gonna kill me, but I'm taking the pictures to work tomorrow to show to a "local" (cos everyone in Australia thinks they're Steve Irwin...) and see if his diagnosis is ok. My next purchase might be this....(it's not spider poison by the way).
I have pretty much ruled out this nasty little 8 legged fucker (doesn't say it will kill but they do say "Funnel-web spider venom is highly toxic, and all species should be considered potentially dangerous" ...as well as this wee lil' beastie.
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| This is the perspective I saw the spider from. Not that scary really... |
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| It looks even less scary standing in the hallway. |
Jaysus! Kris, dont muck about, get the bastard killed before he tries to take over your house!!!
ReplyDeleteI showed the pictures at work, and at least 3 people said "ohhh, that's a huntsman. They give nasty bites and they jump if they feel threatened."
ReplyDeleteHmmm, any spider with "hunt" in the name implies "preying on things" and "kills". So i asked another question: "So shall i get rid of it or kill it?". My colleague replied "ahh I'd kill it if I was you. It'll give you a nasty bite. You don't want to be sleeping and it crawls into your mouth and bites you or it crawls on your chest and you put your hand on it".
So I got home that evening, found it, and made an engaged in an epic battle to capture it and it was raining, so the spider really, really resisted. I won in the end with the result of a saucepan, a bit of cardboard and a bruised thumb.
F*ck me that is horrible mate, I just threw up in my mouth at the sight of it...wouldnt be able to sleep in your flat just knowing it may have friends lurking..!
ReplyDelete