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Free coat hangers

One busy lunchtime a week or so ago I remembered that I was drastically running out of clothes hangers (the lack of hangers resulted in my bedroom being littered with discarded clothes. Coupled with the organised-chaos/messiness of my bedroom, the discarded clothes inadvertently giving the impression of sheer laziness.
And when I came to wash some clothes I found that I had no where to hang some and that their new home was now on the floor or draped over the end of my bed).
I had decided to call in on Aldi in North Sydney. For those that don't know Germany's richest man's discount supermarket chain Aldi...  Aldi must sell hangers. I even asked a girl at work if Aldi sold hangers. She positively confirmed my suspicions and so North Sydney Aldi got a visit.
We got there and it was packed. It was peak-lunch-time-rush-hour and full of suit clad shoppers wrestling slightly shop damaged boxes of $1 shower curtains and scented, rose shaped candles, so my friend and I set about looking for clothes hangers. We couldn't find any. Well, there was some sort of offer on for kid's winter jackets.
One of the requisite traits of being a customer of a discount shop is that you don't quite grasp putting things back on their hangers or back in their rightful place. Like a pigeon pecking bread off of the ground and then they peck a stick and instantly drop it from their mouth as it isn't food.
I had stumbled into a bomb site of tiny multicoloured puffer jackets. But this bombsite yielded my reward for entering Aldi at lunchtime. Hangers. Lots of clothes hangers. Different types....the thick hangers needed to hang a sturdy jacket. Thin hangers for thinner jackets or maybe a shirt. There were even trouser hangers lying about. I had struck hanger gold.
I hastily collected some together. My friend came over to me. "Bro, what are you doing? I don't think they sell hangers. Let's go"
"Hold on", I said. "I'm gonna steal these."
"Dude, if you do that I'm going! I'm not with you!"
I looked at him to see if he was bluffing, and reassured myself, out loud, that people don't want these hangers. Aldi probably doesn't even care if I take a few hangers. My friend a long sigh, and slowly started edging away from me by pretending to browse for other goods. We jokingly argued a bit more, attracting more attention and more strange looks. So I agreed to go and ask for permission to liberate a few clothes hangers.
I found this Aldi employee, "Maria", that looked particularly stressed. She was carrying big boxes of cheese and meat paste. I followed her and watched her go into the stock room, and then as she emerged I pounced.
Me:  "Do you sell clothes hangers?" (knowing full well they didn't. Just a rhetorical ice breaker)
Maria:  "Errrm...no I don't think so"
Me:  "You don't. I looked. But I noticed that there are loads over there [pointing to the back of the shop]."
Maria:  Silence..."...OK"
Me:  "Can I just take steal some?"
Maria:  ".....errrm....if you want"
So I bounced back to my friend who was waiting/guarding the hangers I had compiled. I told him the good news...and as I was telling him, Maria appeared with a huge fruit box full of assorted hangers! The box was massive though, so I decided to decant the hangers into another more manageable 3 pack box of babies nappies.
We negotiated the lunchtime crowds, eliciting awkward/usual stares from people not carrying a nappy box of coat hangers through the streets. We got back to the office and I sat down at my desk contemplating my small triumph of consumerism. Getting anything for free always invokes happiness/smugness. Getting 30 hangers for free definitely evoked satisfaction and I deserved a pat on the back. But 30 hangers. I need 10 at the most. I took home 8.

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  1. Brilliant Raven! Brilliant!

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